MRI Results

I am very overdue on posting this, and I do apologize.  Life continues to move quickly.  I refer to this as "Life    moving at the speed of life".

MRI day started in the wee hours of the morning, with us arriving at Denver Children's hospital at 6am.  AnnaSophia is always excited to go there.  She feels quite at home.  This phenomenon only occurs in children who have spent a lot of time at the hospital.  She loves her doctors and nurses, and so far has not rebelled against her required visits.

AnnaSophia did experience a little anxiety after the anesthesiologist visited us.  She really wasn't too keen on putting the oxygen mask on, even after we "colored" it with some yummy smelling Fruit Smackers.  The doctor really wanted to make this a better experience for all of us from the last time she underwent anesthesia.  (Quick reminder: She experienced what is called Emergence Delirium while recovering from her heart cath.  Basically, she was extremely agitated, angry and out of control.)

Kyle and AnnaSophia

The doctor ordered some oral Versed. The difficult part was getting the medication in AnnaSophia.  It took a few adults holding her head still while shooting the drug into her mouth with an oral syringe.  She was not happy with me, but once the Versed started to take effect, she was a different child.  This drug is amazing!  She was relaxed and happy...and the best part is that she would not remember a thing.  Bonus!


I was able to carry her back to the MRI room, and be with her while she went under.  No matter how many times I've watched this, no matter how much I understand all of the technical information, this is still hard for me.  Watching my child become limp and fall asleep while under the effects of these drugs is still hard.  I don't even know why.  Maybe it's because I'm handing complete responsibility over to a team of doctors and nurses.  She's out of my care at that point.  Maybe it's because it brings back hard memories of her CHD (congenital heart defect) journey.  The open heart surgeries, the heart failure, the time spent in the CICU, the time she went into cardiac arrest after transplant, and the list goes on.

However difficult it is, I never show it.  I'm strong for her.  I smile and tell her she's doing great.  I kiss her, and tell her I love her.  When I turn around to walk out of the room, the tears fall...quietly...and just a few.  I always take a deep breathe and know that she is in God's hands.

Sleeping off the anesthesia

The MRI took about two hours to complete, and AnnaSophia came out of the anesthesia beautifully.  She was actually quite entertaining.  To put it plainly, it was like she was drunk as a skunk.  A happy drunk.  She was high as a kite, smiling, talking and cooperative.  At that point, I could've hugged the anesthesiologist!  What a difference from last time!

IV is out and she is a happy girl!

As she was recovering, the radiologist came in to speak with us.  The most amazing thing happened.  He reported that her heart looked great!  I couldn't understand how we had gone from, "it looks like there is a mass on her heart" to "there is no mass and her heart looks great", but the bottom line is, I'll take it!

The doctor said that her vessels looked good, her heart function looked good, and his best guess is that the view of the ultrasound may have picked up part of her liver making it look like there was a mass on her heart.  I felt like a huge worry had been lifted from me.  I was thanking God at that moment that she got a clean bill of health.

The reality is that at some point, AnnaSophia will get sick.  Her heart will have some problems.  She could reject.  She could developed transplant coronary artery disease.  She could develop heart failure.  At some point, she WILL need another heart transplant.

But for now, she is great...and I'm good with that.  I have been blessed with more time with my child, living life like any other child (except for the fact that we wash hands like doctors preparing for surgery, and she takes immune suppression medication).  I have more days to love my children and make memories with them.

Still feeling happy and on our way home

Thank you for everyone who prayed for her and wished us well.  All I have to say is that I feel truly blessed.

The Children in Review

I have defaulted...big time.  I've been busy, overwhelmed and trying to figure out this whole single-mom-parenting thing.  I haven't posted updates on AnnaSophia's blog like I should have.  So, I sit here at 10:23pm, with the children tucked in their beds, me alone in mine, and I have been inspired to write an update on my children.  This is a good way to end 2010, reflecting on my reasons for living.

I'll start with AnnaSophia, since this blog is named after her.  She was the inspiration for starting this blog.  Born with severe heart defects, whisked away unexpectedly to Denver Children's Hospital when she was 9 days old, this blog was designed to keep friends and family updated on her medical condition.  What a wild ride!!! Open heart surgery at 11 days old, chest closed at 13 days old, tachycardia, transfusions, medications, heart failure, PICC lines, transplant, cardiac arrest, rejection, infections, chemo, heart caths.  This was a big part of her life.  This defined the early years of her life, but it wasn't exclusively who she was or is. 

She is AnnaSophia, a bright and shining star.

AnnaSophia smiles a lot.  She gives the biggest, squeeziest hugs and kisses EVER.  She loves to "nuggle" with me.  She loves her family, especially her brother and sister.  She loves princesses, and thinks she is one too.  She loves animals, especially dogs.  She wants to visit Cinderella's castle one day.  (Baby, I think you will, so hold onto that dream.)  If you ask her where her heart is, she points to her chest.  When I ask her who's heart is in her chest, she replies, "Mason's heart" with a sweet, big smile and both of her hands over her chest.  God love her!!!  She brings such joy to my life!  She is truly a miracle, and I feel so blessed to have my baby with me each day.

Emily is my super-sensitive, beautiful girl.  She is 10 years old now.  She is on her way to becoming a young lady.  She can't wait for the day that she is old enough to babysit AnnaSophia.  Emily loves her siblings and me as well.  She has loved horses since she was old enough to talk.   She loves dogs, especially Golden Retrievers and hopes to have another one sometime.  She is my artist.  She has amazing talent, and her drawings take my breath away.  This year, Christmas was especially stressful for the children, as their dad and I are not together.  I found her outside with her cousins, holding her sketch book and drawing nature pictures.  To watch her was one of those precious gems-of-a-moment that will be forever burned in my mind.  I love every second that my beautiful girl and I can share.

Ethan is growing into an amazing young man.  I don't use the term "man" lightly.  He is tall and handsome.  Despite his Asperger's Syndrome and challenges, he is amazing.  If I could find a man half as good as my son, I would be blessed.  He is smart, works hard, is devoted, loves his family and has a great sense of humor.  Yes, he teases his sisters A LOT.  I remind myself that he is a boy and a brother.  It's what they do...right?  He just needs someone to give it back to him big time.  He has an amazing sense of right and wrong.  He knows what kind of man he wants to be and seeks out inspiring examples of amazing men to emulate.  God love him!!!  He made the honor roll at school this year, and wowed my socks off by saying that math is his favorite subject.  I think I see an engineer in the making.

Life has been hard this year.  I don't know what the future holds for us.  This is the most uncertain year I have ever faced, but there are certain things that I cling to.  I know without a doubt that my children love me.  They are my reason for waking every day.  I strive to be a better person and provide a good life for them.  I work to raise awareness about Congenital Heart Defects to save my daughter's life.  Every motivation, everything that I do, is for them.  One day life will settle down and become less stressful.  Until then, I hug on my children daily and thank God for the precious gifts that He's given me.  I pray that 2011 will bring peace, love and stability to our lives.  Until that happens, we press on with hope, and I pray that the Lord will continue to bless us and walk with us.

Blessings to you.